


Tails from the Finalizer

by studentwriter666



Category: General Hux - Fandom, Star Wars, The Force Awakens - Fandom, The Last Jedi, The Rise of Skywalker
Genre: Cats, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23389843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/studentwriter666/pseuds/studentwriter666
Summary: Keep up with shenanigans aboard the Finalizer through the eyes of Millicent, General Hux's kitty.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter One: The Luckiest Cat in the First Order

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by a @camri.elyse TikTok video

I peaked around the corner, short predatory meows coming from my furry lips, my butt wiggling in the air, weight moving from one paw to the other. Set in my sights was a little mouse, nibbling stupidly on some crumbs it had found after lunch. 

Master was gone before I woke up, which was normal because I usually slept past noon anyways. He’d grumbled something about Luke Skywalker, whoever that is. ’ll never understand these humans and their ship this, blast that, force blah blah blah.

Suddenly the mouse's head shot up as a set of loud footprints filled the empty hall. With that it darted out of sight.

Well shit, there goes my post-lunch dessert. Who dares interrupt me.

I saw the black boots first, and looked up, and up, and up.

Ren.

That bastard.

I hunched back down, returning to attack mode, waiting for him to be close enough so I could attack his stupid leg with my sharp little talons.

Just a little closer.

A little closer.

Gotcha! I struck out my orange paw, nails extended out all the way, and dug my claws right in to his leg.

“What the fuck!” He grumbled, locking his dark eyes on me.

I hissed, baring my teeth at his stupid pale face. That’ll show him not to mess with masters best little princess.

He kicked me off of his leg and continued stomping down the hall like the big brute he was.

Note to self, I thought, bringing my paw up to my mouth and giving my weapon a little clean, pee in his stupid helmet litter box later.

***

I couldn’t help but admire my paws as I lounged on masters inky sheets. Sharp, pointy, pearlescent little claws sticking out like daggers from my tabby fur. I caught four of those pesky mice today. I proudly stretched out, kneading the sheets with delight.

There was a sudden commotion outside of masters chambers, and eager for pets I hopped to my paws and slinked off the bed. Trotting to the door with my floofy belly bouncing back and forth below me, I could hear masters sharp voice.

“I want troops deployed to Jakku right away!”

The doors slid open and I greeted master with my best meow, watching with delight as his sharp features softened, his thin lips puckering as he began to coo. He bent down, scooping me up as the doors slid shut behind him.

“Was my Milly a good girl while I was gone?”

I purred coyly. He scolded me before he left to stop drinking from the toilet, but let’s be honest, how’s he ever going to know. 

I licked his cheek.

Master set me down on the bed, giving my back a stroke before he began to take off his uniform. 

“You should have seen Dameron my Milly kitty,” master smiled, pulling on his black pajamas. “I thought my troopers did a number on the filthy resistance scum, but you should have seen him after Ren was in his head. It was quite impressive” Master gave a small chuckle as he crawled in to the bed.

Ren eh? My eyes narrowed at the name. Needless to say, me and big, bad, and brooding didn’t get along, which was fine because master hated him too. I crawled on to masters stomach as he flicked off the lights, tucking my paws beneath me as his hand aimlessly gave me the best pets in the world. Funny to hear master say anything good about Ren.

Perhaps I won’t claw at his leg next time we cross paths.

But then again, maybe I will.

Master slowly began to drift off, his hand slipping from my back. We couldn’t have that now could we. I pawed at his hand until he continued, giving my butt some scratchies too.

Oh, oh yes, I purred, small drops of drool dripping from my mouth.

I was the luckiest cat in the First Order.

I was the only cat in the First Order.


	2. Chapter Two: Let Daddy Work

“Careful Ren that your personal interests do not interfere with orders from Leader Snoke”

“I want that map. For your sake, I suggest you get it.”

I hissed with maniacale pleasure as Ren stomped past me. How dare he speak to master that way. Who does he think he is?

I narrowed my sharp eyes at his hulking frame as he turned out of sight, before quickly prancing to masters side and rubbing against his leg. He always likes that, even though I get my orange fur all over his black uniform.

I circled between his legs expectantly. Weird, he would have picked me up by now. I looked up but he was standing stiff, gloved hands balled in to fists at his side.

Clearly he’s too distracted to see how much I love him. Maybe.. If I just… give him a little love bite…

“Ow!” Master scowled angrily.

I purred, delighted at the attention, and hopped up on to his desk. The higher I am, the closer I am to pets.

“Not now pri-” master looked around at his subordinates where they sat at communication and coordination screens, and lowered his voice, “Not now princess, daddy’s got to help find a defective trooper and idiotic pilot. I’m too busy.”

Too busy?

TOO BUSY?

I eyed his datapad sitting precariously close to the edge of the desk. Master caught my eye as I looked back at him mischievously.

“Milly no. I need that.”

I took a few steps closer. Too busy eh?

“Milly” His tone was full of warning, but I didn’t care.

With a quick swat of my pretty pink paw I sent the datapad crashing to the floor.

“Millicent Hux!” Master yelled with annoyance, snatching the datapad up off the floor as I pounced off the desk. “No Nabooian tuna for you tonight! Now get out of my sight and let daddy work!”

No tuna? Oh I’m definitely going to leave a furball on his pillow later.

I scowled, giving him a meow of aggravation before shaking my furry butt with a fast getaway out of his office.

***

“Forgive me. I feel it again, the pull to the light. Supreme leader senses it. Show me again the power of the darkness and I will let nothing stand in our way. Show me grandfather and I will finish what you started.”

That idiot really needs to stop praying to my new litter box.

I ducked around a corner as Ren stood, gazing down at the pit of ash that housed a mangled and burnt helmet.

The big ebony dummy’s been acting weird lately. Matter of fact, so has master, what with all those trips down to Starkiller.

I hate that place. Too cold, not enough mice, and way too many of those stupidtroopers.

I ducked further in to the shadows of a corner as Ren walked by.

Oh.

Oh no.

He’s got a loose thread hanging off of his cape!

Must resist the urge to...too late.

I pounced, sticking my little talons right in to the end of his ridiculous cape.

“What the hell?”

Dammit, I can’t get it out. It’s stuck.

He turned, trying to see what was on his cape, but I was being dragged around behind him.

Oh he’s really going to kill me this time.

Furry paws sliding on the smooth floor, I quickly managed to untangle myself from the fabric, ripping out a few more threads in the process.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE AGAIN!” He roared, spotting yours truly as I dashed towards the door.

Again? I snickered to myself as I ran out of his chamber doors and in to the hall. He says that as if I’m not in there every day while he’s away slicing up communication boards with that light stick of his.

The boys got some anger issues.

Suddenly my ears perked to the faint sound of treats rattling in their container. 

“Milly! Where’s my Milly kitty!”

Master’s back!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm realizing that at this rate, WHAT AM I GOING TO WRITE WHEN I GET TO TROS :(


	3. Chapter Three: That Damn Bell

I scowled, watching my breath make soft puffs in the frigid air.

Starkiller.

I had hoped master would take us back to the Finalizer when he’d blown up those giant yarn balls in the sky, what are they called, planets, but no such luck. 

I had purred and stretched and batted my beautiful lashes at him after his big rally, trying with all my furry charm to make him take me back, but no, what do I get?

A bell.

I grimaced down at the small silver bell attached to the new pink collar around my neck.

I don’t do bells. And pink? PINK? Pink isn’t even my color. I prefer red, like the blood of masters enemies.

I pawed at the stupid thing making my neck hurt. Master had said something about not wanting the stupidtroopers to accidentally trample me.

Like they could ever not see me. I’m beautiful. I’m stunning. 

I

AM

A

SHOW 

STOPPER.

I jumped back, startled out of my self adoring thoughts as a young woman, brown hair up in buns, dirtied and worn clothing marking her as a scavenger, dashed in to the hallway anxiously.

So this must be the girl that’s got Ren slashing up all those control panels.

Master wouldn’t want a prisoner escaping. Maybe if I stop her we can go back to the Finalizer!

I crouched low, my large golden eyes honing in on her as she looked around anxiously, my butt high in the air wiggled as I prepared to pounce upon my unsuspecting prey.  
I leaped forward, claws extended for the kill, and then...

Jingle jingle

That damn bell!

With a glowing smile she slung the stolen trooper blaster around her shoulder and scooped me up, cradling me in her arms, “Well hi there kitty. What are you doing here?”

PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT YOU TRAITOROUS, FILTHY SCAVENGER, I meowed angrily, squirming in her arms with defiance at the audacity of this female human. I WILL END YOU, I hissed, I WILL DESTROY YOUR ENTIRE WORLD IF YOU DO NOT PUT ME DOWN THIS…

The vile woman reached past my talons of hate, having honed in on my greatest weakness… chin scratchies.

Oh, Oh no, that feels SO GOOD. I stretched out my chin for her to continue, purring with bliss, small drops of drool rolling down the orange fur of my face. I was in love. I was putty in her thin arms.

“Can you show me which direction the nearest hanger bay is little lady?” The girl asked, her short nails still giving me good scratchies beneath my chin.

Oh what the heck, the enemy of my enemy is my friend right?

I beckoned my chin left towards a hallway that would lead her directly to Hanger 718, that was, if no groups of stupidtroopers managed to stop her on her way there.

She gave my cheek a little nuzzle with her own before gently setting me down on the ground. “I’d take you with me but I don’t think I can, but you should try and find your way off this planet, and fast.”

Well duh, it’s what I’ve been trying to do this whole damn time.

***

Master hugged me close knowing I always hated this part.

Suddenly the ship lurched forward as it jumped to lightspeed, thousands of stars turning in to streaks of light as we just barely managed to escape Starkillers explosion.

I gave master a little lick on the cheek with my sandpaper tongue as he clutched me close to his body as I sat in his lap. I don’t know what I’d do without him. I nudged my head against him, rubbing my ears against his chest, deep rumbling purrs showing him how happy I was that he was alright.

“Yes yes I know Milly darling, we’ll be back on the Finalizer any moment now.” He said, glancing around at the officials that manned the ship, and the stupidtroopers walking around, before stealing a quick couple of kisses upon my pink little nose.

“General,” called one of the lackeys from the cockpit, “We have an incoming transmission from Supreme Leader Snoke requesting an update on Ren's condition.”

Master sneered in the direction of the med room at the back of the ship before plopping me down on the ground to go deal with his own master.

After that nice girl gave me some cuddles it was just chaos on the base, but thankfully masters little bell worked, keeping me safe, and I found him where I knew he’d be, talking with that Snow guy, or whatever he’s called. He’d picked me up and we got the heck out of there, well, not before rescuing that pathetic man child, Ren, in the woods.

I glanced around before letting my curiosity get the better of me, and pranced my way over to the med bay, my flabby belly swaying the whole way there. The door was left open a crack, and reaching up with a pretty pink paw I swatted it open wider, such enough to squeeze through.

I wasn’t sure what I was doing, I hated that stupid human male but he had looked so small, and pathetic when they brought him aboard the ship, I almost, dare I say, felt sorry for him.

Before I could stop myself I dashed towards one of the vents in the cargo hold where I’d stashed a little present I’d been planning on giving master, scooped it up in my mouth, and ran back to Ren, hopping up on the medical cot where the unconscious mass of ebony draped man meat lay. 

Padding my way around his warm body, I dropped the dead mouse on his chest.

If that doesn’t make him feel better when he wakes up, then I don’t know what will.


	4. Chapter Three: Ruling the Finalizer

I hopped atop the cleaning droid just as it whirled by, smiling to myself with glee from my new vantage point, tail swaying back and forth. I was queen of the castle.

It’s at this point of the story where I’d like to remind you of that bell? The pink one master got me to try and keep me safe? Yeah well it mysteriously went missing, somewhere… maybe down the trash compactor, maybe not, we’ll never know.

The little droid continued to aimlessly buzz around the control room, sucking up little bits of dirt as master yelled orders. I loved watching him work.

Suddenly my ears perked up to an abrupt silence just before an unfamiliar voice came on through the control rooms speaker system.

“Attention this is Commander Poe Dameron of the Republic fleet. I have an urgent communicae for General Hugs.”

Hugs?

Did someone say hugs? I like those.

I whipped my head around trying to figure out who was going to give me some much needed hugs as the droid swiveled to and fro, but next thing I knew master was yelling again. That’s when the blasting began, which was my que to leave. I hopped off the droid, furry orange tail high as I strutted out of the control room, looking for something to do while master continued to kill the bad guys. I could go find Ren's helmet litter box again? Maybe rub my fur around in the laundry room again? I could sneak into the mess hall, eat all the cheese and throw up on the floor. Hmm, maybe a nap.

I smirked to myself.

I knew just the spot for a nap.

Prancing through the pristine halls I spotted the elevator. A group of stupidtroopers were just getting in when they spotted me slinking over.

I meowed at them expectantly as I approached, silencing their chatter. I could practically hear the eye rolls as they stood to attention, straightening up, and saluting while in unison exclaiming, "Millicent."

Darn right you all give me the respect I deserve around here!

After the chaos of Starkiller, master had ordered I be given special privileges, in other words, although I already knew I was better then these mouse brained bucketheads, I now officially outranked them.

You may now call me Major Millicent, or My Most Marvelous Major Milly, as master calls me during bedtime snuggles.

They held the elevator for me as I took my time padding over, taking a seat in the corner as the doors shut.

No one dared to try and pet me, so they continued to act like I wasn't there.

“I don’t know man. She was just a girl. How could she have beat him?”

“Do you think Ren let her win?”

“Why the hell would he do that?”

“I don’t know. Pretty buns, dark eyes, can kick ass. He’s probably never even been with anyone before either.”

They began snickering.

So it was the girl that left him with that scar. 

I knew I liked her.

The doors opened and I darted out in front of them, turned a corner, and slipped in between the crack of the room I had been looking for. Well… room was an understatement, it looked more like a huge bloody chamber. On the other side of an elevated bridge, with cavernous drops on either set, set against crimson walls, was my bed.

I slinked up the few steps leading up to the huge chair, throne, whatever you call them, and leapt up on to the seat, digging my claws in to the cushioned fabric as I turned around in a circle, looking for just the right angle to lay my pretty little bottom.

Oh yeah, that’s the magic spot.

With heavy lids I was out like a dead Ton Ton.

It wasn’t so much that a sound or anything woke me up, more like I could feel him. The tall hairless rodent man gave me the heebie jeebies. The hair on my back stood pin straight, and with that I darted off the throne and behind a pillar just before the wrinkled noodle, my masters master, took my bed.

Well you’re welcome. I kept it warm for you, I sneered with disdain as his bloody guards lined the throne. No one was the wiser to my presence, that is, until master came strutting forward in all his ebony glory, his beautiful orange hair, the same shade as mine, slicked back.

He stood some distance away, explaining to his master something about the Resistance, something about lightspeed and tracking, whatever cat and mouse game he was playing with the enemy, and in the middle of his explanation he saw me.

Master tried not to skip a beat but he began motioning with his eyes, brows now set in an anxiously unamused line. Why would I leave now when things were just getting interesting. To be fair though, I was forbidden from being in this room. The consequence being no more blue milk. I could live with that.

The elevator doors whirled open as the uncut man tail gave master praises. Out stomped big, thick and mean; Ren.

***

It’s tinkle time!

My pretty pink paws were soundless as I danced towards Ren’s room, bits of Naboo tuna still stuck to my whiskers from dinner with master.

Darn. The door was locked. 

Easily fixed though. With a little wiggle of my tushy to gain momentum I sprang up and swatted the control panel next to the doors, and with a whirl they slid open.

Don’t tell anyone, but sometimes I liked to pretend I have that force thing when they slide open like that, as if I was doing it with my mind. 

I think I’d rule the galaxy if I had that power, but I’m content enough just ruling the Finalizer… for now.

Ah alone at last, now where’s that helmet litter box?

“...that’s the only way to become what you were meant to be.”

NOOOO! I thought he was out flying his ship!

Well… since I’m here I may as well see what this big dark tree trunk is up to.

After my generous offer of peace after me and master saved his pathetic self, me and Ren had a sort of, uneasy understanding. But I don’t think it was my olive branch that did it, the human male hadn’t been the same since that night.

I peeked around the corner with a mischievous grin.

Ew.

WHEN DID HE GET SO PINK! Ren was sitting on the edge of his, and might I add very comfy, bed, staring off in the distance, SHIRTLESS. I wanted to gag. I could see why humans kept themselves covered up.

He balled his hands in to fists at his side. “She’ll join me…”

That poor boy is losing his darn mind, talking to himself shirtless alone in his room.

“I saw it. Both of us, on the throne. She was mi… I was hers. We were ruling to…”

HACK.

Oh no.

HACK.

HACK.

Hairball.

Ren whipped his head in my direction with a startled frown that turned to a grimace as he stood, spotting me in the corner.

“MILLY!” He yelled, but I couldn’t move, I HACK had to get the HACK hairball out HACK.

The orange ball of goo came flying out of my mouth and on to the floor.

I hung my head with guilt.

Hairballs were not ladylike.

I turned, ready to make a quick getaway when I suddenly felt a pair of large warm hands scoop me up off the floor and place me on the bed before I had a chance to protest with my claws.

“It’s fine Milly,” Ren said begrudgingly as he grabbed a cloth from the small kitchen in his quarters, cleaning up my little mess. “You can stay here.” He tossed the cloth out and began putting his shirt on.

I stared up at him with confusion.

Was, was this kindness? Or some ploy to gain my trust for something he was planning?

Ren rolled his eyes, “Don’t look at me like that, I know you’re going to sneak in here and do whatever you want anyways, may as well have my permission.” And with that he adjusted his shirt, scooped up his neck blanket and head bucket before leaving.

I was speechless.

What the hell was going on!?


	5. Chapter Five: Detain the Cat

Mwah

Mwah mwah mwah

I purred, rubbing my head against master’s cheek as he continued to give me kisses. He was in a good mood today.

"Who's my most precious Milly kitty?" He cooed, running his fingers down my spine.

Me! I am!

I caught his hand in a quick love bite, before giving it a lick.

"They're almost out of fuel my darling. It's only a matter of time before they're feeble attempts at rebellion will be destroyed."

I meowed my pleasure. Serves those nerf herders right for thinking they could best master and his army.

Master gave me another kiss before setting me down on the floor and pressing a few buttons on his bedroom control panel.

Here comes my enemy, I hopped up on the bed, hissing as a small droid appeared from the closet, whirling it's way up to master and vacuuming off my hair from his uniform.

I hated that brainless thing.

It finished quickly enough and I jumped back off the bed, following master out in the hall.

He bent down with a smile on his sharp cheekbones, orange hair hanging over one eye. "Now Milly, I don't want you getting in to trouble. Now please, at least keep this collar on so I can find you if anything happens alright?"

Oh right, I forgot to tell you. I got a new collar. Black to match my heart. No bell, but a tracking chip instead. I suppose I'll keep this one around. I meowed up at master before he gave me a satisfied nod and left.

I watched him march out of view, making sure he was gone before I sprinted to Rens room.

I know what it looks like, but it's not like I'm cheating on master or anything, it’s just that hanging out in Rens comfy room sometimes means double the pets, if he was around, and if he was in a good mood. If he’s in a bad mood he just tosses some treats down for me and asks me to leave, which I've been all too happy to oblige, being bribed so well and all.

I caught him just as he reached his own door.

Meow! Hey!

He looked over at me with amusement when suddenly his eyes glazed over, as if he saw something that wasn’t there. He froze, the only movement being the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he breathed heavily.

And then just as soon as it happened, he snapped out of it, a small smile on his lips, one which disappeared as soon as it had appeared. His lips pressed shut in a hard line as his brows furrowed, and without giving me so much as a glance, he began stalking off down the hall.

Hey! Excuse me sir! We were going to have treat time!

I caught up with him, following his pace as I meowed up to him with annoyed confusion.

What the heck just happened?

“Not now Milly.” Ren grumbled, keeping his eyes forward. He grabbed his comlink, holding it up to his mouth, “I want a small squadron of troopers to meet me in Hanger Bay S7 now. We have an incoming prisoner. Send two TIE’s to escort the arriving escape pod safely in to the Bay.”

Oh this should be good! I silently followed at Rens feet, my belly swaying as I pranced to keep pace, anxious to find out who this mystery prisoner would be.

The hanger bay was packed full of stupidtroopers mulling around like the big dumb bucket heads they were. A small group of them approached, falling in line behind us.

Amidst the chaos of ships and bucketbrains, I spotted a small speck approaching the Hanger Bay shields, gliding through, and landing in an open space of the Bay right in front of us.

There they are! Who doesn’t love a good interrogation? What’s a little torture here and there?

Ren stomped up to the pod, gloved hands clenching and unclenching at his side. He looked down at the glass top of the pod. I strained my neck trying to see who was inside but was unfortunately too short. It’s unfair to have so much power contained in such a cute, but little body.

With a hiss the pod doors unlatched and Ren stepped back, allowing the troopers to step forward with stun cuffs. As the pod door lifted up they violently reached inside the pod and pulled out some sort of shiny stick.

Hmm, sorta looks like the one Ren has, but nicer. Must be one of those light stick thingys.

Reaching in again one of the troopers pulled out the pod's mysterious occupant.

Hey!

It’s my friend from Starkiller! The human female!

Wait.

I looked from Ren’s emotionless expression, to the girls upset, trembling lips.

What the hell are they doing?

My instincts kicked in, protect what you love right and all that jazz, and I began attacking the stupidtroopers leg, the one that was placing the stun cuffs around the girls wrists. My talons extended out as I clawed and slashed, my little sharp teeth exposed to show I meant business as I growled and hissed. YOU LEAVE HER ALONE! 

“FN-2246, detain the cat.” Ren said in an emotionless tone.

Cat?

CAT?!?

I’m the damn princess of this ship! I’m a Major! And, and I, I was your friend!

Before the oversized trash can could grab me I scampered away, determined to figure out a way to help my new friend get away from that big stupid jerk face Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to stop in and thank ya'll for reading this silly story. Writing it is giving me peace of mind and hopefully it's a nice light read for you all too! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of wrote this as a joke. If folks like it I'll continue!


End file.
